So ages ago I'd merrily volunteered myself to help out with the kids at church and Kathryn had set me up to assist someone else at the next church meeting. That church meeting was last week. Having eaten well I was presented with five children who had also just eaten well and were literally bursting with energy running about shrieking and was then sent down into a small room below the church!
When I asked if there was anyone else, I was told no.
When I asked if there was anything I could do with them, I was told no.
My face must have given my horror away as the woman then pulled out a few sheets of paper and found me a box of pens/pencils/odd paintbrushes/biros/crayons... I did not expect this to last.
It was pretty difficult!
For a start my French wasn't good enough to be very clear with them and they'd talk to me and I wouldn't have a clue what they were saying!
One child seemed intent on destroying whatever the others were doing, climbing over the table, hitting the others, rifling through my bag, generally bullying and shouting and I'm pretty sure swearing but alas, my french does not extend to those words.
Then there was a bang and suddenly there were fragments of glass scattered about the floor at one end of the room, I asked them what had happened and no one would say but they all went over and started grabbing this broken glass! I tried to send them to the other side of the room to no avail and somehow managed to get most of the glass cleared away, still mystified as to what it had been.
Then, as some had made paper planes, we had a flying contest, to see whose could go the furthest, had the most beautiful flight etc. During this Anne-Laure came in with a sweep and started clearing up the rest of the glass saying it had been the glass light cover which had exploded and come in under the door (I'd looked at her desperately asking if they had nearly finished, if anyone was coming, and she shook her head and left!) And then, as they were climbing up the walls and given that the French CLEARLY had no concept of health and safety, I set up a mini assault course using the chairs and tables and having races and adapting it each time just about kept them focused and not fighting for the rest of the TWO HOURS I'd been left alone with them!
I came home to Mathilde to collapse on the bed but seeing the sunshine outside and given that I'd been locked up in a room underground, we went for a walk to the Luxembourg gardens and sat and soaked up the remaining sunlight.
On the way home we passed a man from Turkey sat in his shop and he was playing this guitarish thing and it was a song he'd written for his cousin, it was beautiful so we stayed a while to chat and listen to him play.
The week at work was uneventful, Bernard was absent a lot and I thought he'd said he was going to a conference Wednesday so when on Thursday afternoon he sent an email saying he couldn't legally drive until after 5pm we assumed it must've been one heck of a conference, but I later found out it had been an operation he'd had, not a conference (have no idea where that came from - I REALLY must be bad at French!) But the good news was that we FINALLY got the monthly newsletter published on the 24th (it should be published at the start of the month...) and now I've got October to set up!
Friday I went home with Li to help her out as she was furnishing her studio appartment. (She's been here a month sleeping in an airbed with a hole in, meaning she wakes up halfway through the night to find herself on the floor!) She'd hired a van and a driver, another chinese man she'd used before, but he didn't arrive until 7pm as there had been some serious traffic and when he DID turn up, well... the only reason I got in was because Li said she'd hired him before but it was a big white van, covered in graffitti with a VERY scary looking man inside (I later learned he was just annoyed at the traffic though) We made our way to IKEA and wandered round trying to find all the bits and bobs on Li's list and by nine we'd bought everything and I was dangerously STARVING so the driver got us a bit of food from the café. We arrived at Li's at half nine and I immediately set about putting a lamp together.
Until I found we needed a screwdriver.
Which Li didn't have.
So, I decided to go and meet the neighbours!
Armed with the word "tournevis", I set about knocking on all the doors. No one answered in any of the downstairs appartments so I moved up a floor and finally found a lovely french lady who offered me a selection of screwdrivers. I picked the cross shaped one which I thought looked right and thanking her profusely, returned to my lamp. Having shown it who was boss, (Sophie with a screwdriver) I performed a spectacular victory dance and moved onto a simple looking table.
Having struggled with the crazy double-ended screws, I quickly left this for Li and moved onto the chair.
Li then presented me with some fried broccoli, tomato, pepper, onion, garlic, egg, chinese-y tasting thing which was delicious along with some bread and goat's cheese. Spurred on, around 11pm we turned to face our final challenge, the double bed.
I was really starting to believe I had a God-given talent for DIY; I quickly identified the right planks of wood, what way up they went, what went where and we were flying through until we came to these ridiculous metal cylinder supports which the screws allegedly fitted into. I won't bother trying to explain quite what it was but basically the screws would NOT go in where we wanted and there on the cold tiled-floor at midnight (as most of you know, I struggle with any time later than 10.30pm, let alone after a long week at work) the first feelings of despair began to set in. The instructions said we needed a flat headed screwdriver and I felt it was a little too late for the friendly frenchwoman and so we sat there hopelessly struggling and retrying until somehow, magically, we got one corner done and then with the knowledge that it COULD work, we then went on to get the other three done! With lots of muted excitement and dancing (didn't want to disturb the neighbours) we went on to almost finish, ending up I'm pretty sure screwing new holes into the wood with the screws as they wouldn't go straight, and we were almost there when I realised that in my haste we'd done a plank upside down and needed to do it the other way up! So we undid the last half hour's work, admiring our strength as we tried to undo the screws, and redid it the right way up. It was VERY late by the time we got the mattress on the bed, got ready for bed and asleep but BOY did I sleep well!
Then the next morning we got up (discovering Paris had suddenly realised it's autumn and therefore had become very cold!) and spent the day with Dino and his chinese flatmates, Fang Xin and Tom, who had both also worked at Alcatel. They were lovely and having made us a superb lunch we all went to the chinese consulate to play ping-pong. I LOVED the competitiveness of the others in the face of Dino's and my hopeless inability. I'd like to think we improved and that our win against Fang Xin and Tom was due to our superior skill and not their failed attempts at smashing the ball at us, but I think that's a little too hopeful!
Then we went on to wander along a culture fair by the Seine and I finally came home in the evening and thought I'd get my massive pile of laundry done. However, upon my return to the launderette I saw to my dismay that despite merrily gobbling up my money and making noises, my machine had not in fact done anything. SO I moved it all into the next one along and paid again and went off to the supermarket to see what I could get for dinner. Thinking about food when I'm tired and hungry is ALWAYS bad and I wandered up and down FAR too long trying to think but eventually came home and made a coconut-y chicken-y curry-like stew. This all took a ridiculous amount of time and by the time I eventually got into bed I fell DEEPLY asleep, waking up this morning feeling fabulous!
Then I remembered I'd told Anne-Laure I'd help her with Sunday school and felt somewhat less fabulous. But it passed relatively well... chaotic and loads more of them this time but they were all alive and breathing at the end and this time there'd been another person in the room who actually spoke French!
Then this afternoon I did a little bit of cleaning and cake-baking as someone at work had a birthday but neglected to tell us...
This week should be a little more relaxed though as Bernard's off for some R&R in the south of France! Lucky swine...
